Bad Luck Idea
by Josh Foote

The other day I learned something new
I learned about something you should never do
So here is a rule that I would advise –
Never teach your monkey to hypnotize
Before what happened my idea sounded clever…
After what happened, I would never
Oh never never think it was wise
To teach a monkey to hypnotize

 I showed my monkey a watch he could twirl
To make someone’s eyes start to whirl
I taught him to make the watch oscillate
He seemed to catch on and I thought, “This is going great!”
I thought he could use this on his friends at the zoo
But listen to what Larry (my monkey) decided to do
He got me to look up into the tree
As soon as I looked… he hypnotized me

My monkey got me under his spell
And he made me do things which I probably shouldn’t tell
He made me swing on vines ‘til my arms got tired
He had me throw bananas at my boss and it got me fired
I had to sit behind him, up in the trees
And pick from his fur all of his fleas
(in case you are curious, there were four-thousand and three)

He made me steal bananas from the grocery store
And peel them ‘til my fingers were sore
Then he forced me to cook a banana stew
And banana burgers, banana casserole and banana cream pie too
Then he forced me to join him for the meal
To eat the bananas he made me cook and steal
He forced me to eat ‘til my belly nearly went pop
And finally that’s when he let the hypno-spell stop

I was so mad he used those powers on me
I was so furious, I was so an-guh-ry
I yelled at my monkey up in that tree
I yelled, “I didn’t enjoy this hypnotic spree!”
At least it was over and I’m still alive
I’m sure things will go better when I teach him how to drive